For a “woman of action” such as myself, this is most important time of the year for contemplating where I’ve been, where I’m headed, and much more importantly where I want to go (and what I want to do.) It’s a time of rebirth, and I use that energy to create the year that I want to have ahead of me, rather than let it happen accidentally.
Oh, I know I can’t control everything. But I believe we all control more than we think we do. And the process of visualizing the life we want to live almost always leads to a better life, if we work towards that vision rather than sitting back and expecting it to magically happen.
So I make lists. It’s more than resolutions, it’s my list for things I want to accomplish and work towards. I also check back to last year’s list and see how I’ve done. Over the years, I’ve learned a few things that make me even more confident in the importance of this process. So are five things I’ve learned that help guide me towards a better New Year.
1: Carve out time to contemplate your life. For me, it involves a combination of grooming—taking a bath, making sure my nails are clean and cut, etc., and then heading out to sit in nature for a few minutes or half an hour. If it’s cold, dress warm and take a blanket. If it’s warm, I envy you! Visualize the year you would love to have, and ask the universe for guidance.
2: Dig deep and dare to dream. Are you desperately unhappy with an aspect of your life? Put it on the list. You may not know how to change it at this point, but putting it on the list will remind you, and more than likely the answer will come. Or, if there is something you’ve always wanted to do or learn, but have never done, put a notation on the list to make time, or take a class to get you started.
3: Focus less on the outcome, and more on the action that will get you to that outcome. Let’s take the most common one: Loose weight. Much too generic! How are you going to do it? For me, I need to be specific about the exercise that’s going to happen, or the change in food behavior. Get to the root of why you have gained weight and address that! Personally, I’ve gotten to the point where I love my buddha belly. But it took me a while to get here.
4: It’s OK if sometimes it takes many years to accomplish something on your list. Sometimes we just can’t get it all done in one year. That doesn’t mean you have failed, it just means you need to have more persistence. I had “build a chicken coop” on my list for a good 10 years. Now, is it time to get those dang chickens? Perhaps. In the meantime, our Guinea hens are enjoying the snug security of their luxury coop.
5: Create a theme for your year that is easy to remember, that you can think of like a mantra. Is this your year to rest and reflect? Or to boldly make change? Do you want and need to go with the flow, or do you need to give yourself more focus? Think of one thing that can guide many of your actions, and that can be your beacon throughout the year. For some years for me it’s simply been to survive. Other years it’s been to thrive. Our lives have seasons and cycles, and part of this process is learning to find our rhythm and our fulfillment.
Happy New Year!
(This blog was excerpted from a previous post.)
Some excellent tips/guidance here. Thanks.
I had a tough year last year. For the life of me, I can’t seem to figure out why. Last summer was tough on me. As you say, I was simply trying to survive it. I need to focus more on what I need to get done this year, and get ahead of the game before springtime. It doesn’t matter how cold it is outside, I’ve got to get things done. I will take some classes at Mt. Cuba this month with a friend, and maybe a few classes at Longwood. It’s past time I did so. Too busy in the past looking after everyone and everything else not related to me and what I wanted and/or needed. I WILL GET IT DONE THIS YEAR! At least the majority of it. Thanks Maria.
Great advice and well said!
2 years ago my Mom said she would go to Vancouver for a wedding. She’s 85 with kidney disease so she needed me to accompany her. All the time I made plans without believing we would go, but last summer found me and my Mom in BC at this function. It was on her list, she worked towards it by staying healthy. Now she’s planning more trips this fall.
I love # 4 too. Write it down, visualize it and you will find yourself making choices to guide you and it will happen at the time it’s meant to be if it’s meant to be. Thank you for inspiring me.